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Content Warning: medical gaslighting

Audrey T. Carroll - Spirit of the Waves.jpg

Veronica Ashenhurst – Art Therapy

Looking at Cézanne’s sketch, Boy Beset by Rats,

I feel kinship with the flailing boy, for

memory plagues me as a creature might—

sharp-toothed, squealing.  I recall the hospital,

exhaustion stilling my limbs like venom.  

The doctor claims I just believe I’m ill,

implying I chase pity.  I’d like to drown

his words as if they were rodents from that sketch,

for the doctor is mistaken.  But he

flicks his hair and looks so sure.  My breath comes short. 

I grip the book of Cézanne’s paintings, flip

past the boy, find a still life: the sea-blue vase,

three fruits, sunlight’s yellow magic.  I sigh,

and for now, bitter memory darts away. 

Veronica Ashenhurst has published both poetry and articles on legal education.  Her poems appear in Health Affairs, MORIA Literary Magazine, Star 82 Review, and Wordgathering, among other journals.  Her poetry has been nominated for the Best of the Net anthology. 

Artwork: Spirit of the Waves by Audrey T. Carroll

Audrey T. Carroll (she/they) is the author of What Blooms in the Dark (ELJ Editions, 2024), The Gaia Hypothesis (Alien Buddha Press, 2024), Parts of Speech: A Disabled Dictionary (Alien Buddha Press, 2023), and In My Next Queer Life, I Want to Be (kith books, 2023). Her writing has appeared in Lost Balloon, CRAFT, JMWW, Bending Genres, and others. She is a bi/queer/genderqueer and disabled/chronically ill writer. She serves as a Fiction Editor for Chaotic Merge Magazine and Editor-in-Chief of Genrepunk Magazine. She can be found at http://AudreyTCarrollWrites.weebly.com and @AudreyTCarroll on Twitter/Instagram.

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